Echoes...

Vanished.
*Poof*

Sadness probably, a lot of "I miss James" and frantic trying to get in touch with me to find out where I went.
And then, in time it would just fade, "Hey, that reminds me of that James guy"
new blood intermingles with old blood, new people enter the circles
and before long a distant memory we become.
A face in the history as others go back to their lives, a fond, or perhaps not so fond memory of the past, a blurred face among the blurs of their life.
And then a return, quietly at first, not triumphant by any stretch... Though perhaps the reason for leaving was a chance for people to forget, and a person to change.
Or not.
Something bittersweet, past stays in the past.
Who could guess, who could know.
Do I want to leave?
I don't know, life would be simpler if I did, but perhaps I like complicated despite my protestations otherwise.
Something isn't right in my brain, but I can't put my finger on it. Skull gets in the way.
Want to be a hero, want to be a lover, want to be so many things.
All I am is a 9-6 jobber, go in, slog, deal with people and go home. Sit in front of a book/computer/game/movie/notebook/sketchpad/ ... nothing. To avoid the interaction.
Filled with so much negative energy, hate, violence, despair, longing, sadness, envy, jealousy, greed and pride.
Hey look, i got 4, 3 to go.
I always want to care, but it comes out wrong
I always want to love, but it's twisted and warped. a mere shadow or image of the thing that should be so beautiful, but the glory that it is filled with holes and cracks.
Pain, pain is an interesting dissertation on life. Some people say it makes you feel alive. Perhaps they are right. I think instead, it makes you feel REAL. As long as you can hurt you are not some stick figure puppet who wants to be a real boy by wishing on the stars.
I'm real, and I'm alive, please make the hurting stop. No more brain hurt, no more chest hurt. Take this sorrow and stuff it.

My life would make a good story, but I think I would want to read ahead to the ending. Just to see how it turns out.