Life's Little Speedbumps

"The Grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for." - Allan K. Chalmers

There is perhaps a time in one's life, where one must stop entirely to gain perspective. In a quiet place where all that exists is you, and the sound of nothing. Where your vision can span everything you have ever done in your life, and everything you want to do. That is a moment where there is such deep introspection, that you may see things you need or want involved in your life, that you never knew you did.

Love, life, a family. As you get older, people say that women have a biological clock with children. Some women have no problem hitting the snooze button. And men, well... Very few men have a clock issue until a midlife crisis.

I guess I am not one of those.
There is something so appealing, from the top of my head to the bottom of my soul, about having a family, a wife, holding my own children in my arms for the first time.
I cannot help but crave this, but I would only want it with the right person.

The problem is finding that person to share your life and your dreams of the future with. Or when you do, letting them see the potential you have.

But if they do not see it you have to let them go, you have to sit there, with the knowledge of what COULD be, and watch the possibilities of dreams crumble with every step away. You analyze every word you had said, every action, you second guess everything you could or did do that was incorrect or just wrong to push them into walking away.
And it hurts.
The loss of hope, can fill you with such a hurt, an empty space inside your chest where your heart was, that is so empty and lonely, a black hole in space would seem lively by comparison.

I do not like walking away, and I will not live without hope.
So I have to hold onto hope, love and embrace the things I have to do. Work, Dancing, Life in general, and give in to the hope that one day maybe they will walk back, or you will say the right words. And fill the hole that will make you complete once again.