Home

Home is the one place in all this world where hearts are sure of each other. It is the place of confidence. It is the place where we tear off that mask of guarded and suspicious coldness which the world forces us to wear in self-defense, and where we pour out the unreserved communications of full and confiding hearts. It is the spot where expressions of tenderness gush out without any sensation of awkwardness and without any dread of ridicule.

- Frederick W. Robertson

The greatest gift that one can have, is to know where your home is.
Not always the place where you live, but a place you feel drawn to. A place of cleansing and safety. A place of healing.

I know my home. It is a place of cold, fog and ocean breezes.
I have not been home for many years now.

Perhaps that is the dysfunction of my life, a disconnect with my sanctuary, a loss of support and safety, feelings and self adrift with no anchor. The world around me is dull and discolored because of that.

My home is a gray world, a world of fog that blocks your sight.
But instead of becoming a dull mediocrity, it transforms the world and the place to seem more tangible and real than just what you can see with your eyes.

I have not been home for many years now.
My world has died more than a little since the last time I was there.
The sounds are muted, the colors of flowers and the sky are less vivid. Tastes are not as sweet. It feels like watching a movie through my peripheral vision and not seeing more than a little bit of life speed past, barely able to glance at it.

Very soon, I am going home.
I will go to heal, to bring clarity and hope back into my life.

I will breathe in the crisp air, feel the cold on my skin and let it make me feel alive.

I will stand in the surf, letting the waves wash over me and clean my wounds, a cleansing of the pain that infects my heart.

I will close my eyes, and let the sound of the wind clear my mind of the troubling thoughts that plague it.

And then I will open my eyes, and watch the sunset over the water, on the horizon. It will set with it my old life, the dull and disconnected life, and when the dawn comes, I will be alive again.

I know where my home is, and I am going home soon. When I leave my home, I will bring it with me, and it will have wrought a great many changes, and hopefully bring back some things in me that were lost, when I could not find my way home.

This is my crucible. A place of cold, fog, and ocean breezes.

Home.