The Sum of "Most" Things

My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual.
Phyllis Diller

So my dear friends, ladies and gentle primates alike. I provide you, here now at the start, a warning included in a little story.

For the past oh, longer than I can damn near recall, I have had a best friend. "Astounding!" you might say, "YOU have friends who will admit to that fact?"

I know, right? Crazy.

In these past nearer to two decades, he has always been around for me to chat and hang out with. There are not many nuances of my personality that this guy has NOT seen. (On that note, I really need to privatize my own life a bit more...) He listens and and has heard my rants, my crazy tangents, wild notions and quiet depressions. At this point, my person has become fairly normal as things go to him, he's not really surprised by much I do or say anymore, this has taken a fair amount of time to establish.
I can't think of any time when he's been gone for more than a week or two at the most without contact. Dear lord, near constant prolonged contact with me in a friendly manner for nearly two decades. (I can provide his address for sympathy gift baskets and or his 72 virgins).

Until now. The bastard went and left for Europe, how dare he go and enjoy the wonders of European culture, and with a cute girl too! By god when I get home I'm going to log online and rant to my best friend on IM... oh... crap...

So that leaves the rest of you.
Be afraid, be warned, be amused, just be.
/Rant on.

To be honest, I have so much crap I want to rail at, I have little to know idea where to start, so I I'm going to fire from the hip and things may be a bit scattered.

Twilight. The books, not the movies.
It's tripe, crap and an utter waste of time.
And I love it.
Oh, not the story, as I said, I despise almost everything about it, and yes, I have read it, merely so people cannot say "You can't criticize what you haven't read".
To those people I say, I want the hours of my life back I wasted on that trash.
However, I love it for one reason.
Kids are picking up goddamn books.
I have, for a long while, feared that children, tweens and people of the last decade or so may have forgotten that that pressed tree pulp, ink and writing between bound strips of cardboard were something other than something to groan at when a teacher tells you to read number through number.

Seriously, they are picking up a book, and that may lead them to another book, and then another, and eventually they may get to something that isn't utter crap and realize the utter mistake and humiliation of their first chosen literature, but really, that's the most I can hope for at this point.

This sort of leads to my next point.
Teachers today are for the most part, phenomenal people and educators. So why is this country progressively getting stupider?
Because School boards, boards of education and parents are tying their damned hands with "You must teach this, if you teach this" or "you cannot teach this because it wouldn't be politically correct" or "Don't teach this unless you can put a positive spin on things"

Seriously? Yes.

I'll give you some advice to the parents and other groups I mentioned.
SHUT THE HELL UP AND LET THEM DO THEIR JOB.

You can't put a positive spin on the mass murders of the last oh, history of humanity. The words that we now get all offended if they show up in history or literature? Guess what, if we pretend nobody ever said them, THEY DON'T GO AWAY. And only by letting people know WHY they were an issue, which would require us to not pretend they never happened, but actually acknowledge that we as a society have moved past their use for a reason.

You know what, while I am on this point. Children, adults, teenagers. Your "duh, whateva, u r srs" and constant use of profanity without need "that would be f*cking sweet" completely unnecessary. Grow a real vocabulary, you are only showing your lack of education and crude nature by resorting to said vocabulary. And if you want to be vulgar, try to do so with style. I can insult someone while smiling and have it take a full 5 minutes to sink in that I just mortally insulted their breeding, heritage, sexual preference and intelligence if I really want to. Without profanity. Grow up.

Leading into that is directed at parents. Given my own career at this stage of my life I am probably starting to dig my own grave here, but it must be done.
Turn off the TV, take away the books.

This should not be recognized as the norm...

Spend time with your damn kids. Not some nanny, nor the local Babysitter's club teenagers, You. Almost every one of my friends are all magnificent parents. I'll have them write you a damned pamphlet if you want.

Politics.

This is an interesting point.

Republicans in office. You people are acting like petulant children who are throwing temper tantrums because you didn't get your way, and are giving a bad name to the good Republicans out there that accepted their values and desires would be under-represented because of your asshattery. Grow up and represent those people, not the nut jobs that sue McDonalds because Coffee is Hot, and the president is a Half-Batman Kenyan Alien from the no longer a planet Pluto because God didn't make Pluto in the week of creation.

Democrats. Seriously? You guys have a ton of power right now, and what are you doing with it? Waving it in the faces of your opposition like you picked up the rag and got over the line in a capture the flag battle.
Swallow your fucking pride and stop trying to ram unpopular policy down their throats and actually try to work with them instead of seeing them as an opposition, no matter how they act. They might not see you quite so much as an enemy, and more of someone with differing viewpoints, and hey, that's common ground.

Pro-Choice.
This is not just on abortion, but rather a choice of anything. In the words of this man, a true visionary, and robot..."Freedom is the right of all sentient beings."

Let me explain, this means whatever a person chooses to do, within the limitation of "It doesn't freaking affect someone ELSE's right to choice" THEY CAN FRACKING WELL DO IT!

Does that need more explanation? Ok, let me expand.
If I want to kill you for being a bigoted, close minded ass hat, I am not allowed to. Want to know why? Because You are choosing to be that, and I should not be allowed to disrupt that choice of yours. Except, and here's the kicker, you are welcome to your opinion, until you start forcing other people to live by your expectations and beliefs. Just because you live your life one way, doesn't mean others should have to live it your way. So go fuck yourself, whine to your golf buddies about how gays are getting married, fetus souls are dying, and the batman president is black.
Oh and to all the fetus killing, gay marrying, black presidents out there? This goes back to an above point, stop making a big fucking deal out of it. Having giant weddings at a city hall in celebration is all great and good, but really, a smaller, more private ceremony that doesn't offend the people who have their opinions and might be moved to openly contest your ability to do whatever it is you choose might be a smarter idea. Just saying.

We are hitting a point of too long; didn't read now, so I think I will wrap up for now, with more to come at a later date if I feel inclined. For now, I have pie, and tea. And really, that makes the world awesome.