Way Back When

“Many a man fails as an original thinker simply because his memory is too good”
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Do you remember when we met? You wore those clothes, and I wore mine?
The weather was nice that day, sunny not a cloud in the sky, with a hint of rain, snow and overcast. I remember you telling me you loved this weather, but really, if you could change anything about it, it would be everything. I remember laughing, and secretly feeling the opposite, but not wanting to say it because you might walk away or think less of me.

Remember when our eyes met that first time? Did they? Have we ever searched each others souls for something more? Was it dark out? Could you still see me? Could I still see myself as anything more than a reflection of what you wanted me to be? Can I still? I've forgotten.

But I remember the first time you smiled at me, I did something smart. Or was it silly. Or maybe it was a joke. Anyway, I remember the smile... I think. Was it instead a grin, or perhaps you just had something in your teeth you wanted to show me? Ew. That would have been gross, but I might have found it funny. I don't recall, it was a while ago.

Your voice was melodic, like if the light of a gentle moon could be audible and whisper on the wind, the words... I forget... I think they held affection, but it's been so long I can't remember. You told me your birthday, a day ending in Y right? You are from that country, place, city? No matter. I do remember your voice, strong and powerful like the sun on a warm day, a caress across my skin with every word... I think so, though I can't remember.

When you held my hand it was like being held in the embrace of tranquility, I could feel the smoothness of your skin, my fingers intertwined with yours, so delicate and small in mine. Those long fingertips, and rough hands I knew had seen so much in life only endeared you more to me, I knew we had lives to talk about and fill the space. Or perhaps it was just silence and something went click. Can you remind me?

I think perhaps I have failed at this recollection. Perhaps that is why I try to recall it every moment of every day we are together now.

Or maybe remembering is not as important as all that. It's the future and dreams, together, we should look forward to. Every day an opportunity, a chance to make those memories together. I think I can remember to do that.